How Do You Get A Man To Open Up And Talk????????

I can remember when my husband and I first started to date, we would get in the car and drive around and talk for hours about literally nothing. There was many a night we would pull off the side of the high way just to talk. I miss that. Is it that we have just been together so long that we have forgotten how to talk? Trust me it’s not that we have nothing to talk about.

I am going through some emotional stuff that I really need him to talk with me about and I can’t get him to open up without getting angry.

A little back ground………..

I was told at a very young age that I wouldn’t be able to have children and if I did get pregnant I would have difficulties carrying to term. I have 2 great kids that I wouldn’t trade for the world, but had difficult pregnancies with both along with 3 miscarriages. So after last daughter was born I tied my tubes because I couldn’t handle the heartbreak and difficulties carrying another child. Husband had 2 kids but we had always discussed extending our family ie.. adoption or foster care and even after a few years talked about possibly reversing my surgery.

I am surrounded by pregnant women and my hormones are going crazy. One of the girls has decided she doesn’t want to keep the baby and wants us to adopt it. I’m all for it. I’m 34 and hubby will be 39 this year. Our baby is going to be 12 in Sept. Every time I try to discuss it with him we end up fighting.

I understand where he’s coming from. Our kids are old enough to fend for themselves and if we want to take off and go somewhere we can. He’s afraid that age will be a factor as we get older. Meaning he will be almost 60 by the time this child graduates from high school. We can’t really afford a baby but we couldn’t afford the 4 we had at the time and things always worked out.

He did tell me that if it came down to the baby going somewhere else we would. I don’t want him to feel quilted into it. All I want is to have more than a 5 second discussion that ends in a fight. He stated the other day that he thought I was just joking every time we brought it up.

How can I get him to open up to me about this? I wrote him a long letter the other night and I’m hoping we will have a chance to discuss it since we no longer have house guest. The baby’s not due until New Years so we have some time.