We Finally Talked …….A Little

I just didn’t know what to think. Hubby has been sending me mixed signals about the prospect of a new baby. One minute he says he moving out to the garage and the next minute he’s helping pick out baby names. In talking with family I came to the conclusion that this was his way of processing all the information. He thinks I only have eyes for the baby and I’m not looking at the big picture.

He said that he is afraid of the consequences for the child as it gets older because it is a bi-racial child and we are bringing it into a family with 2 white parents. He’s afraid of money issues, which we all have. Where are we going to get health insurance? These are all legitimate questions that I myself have thought about and prayed about. My heart tells me this is what I need and have to do.

Most importantly he is afraid for me. This was the main of our conversation this morning. He’s terrified that I’m am going to get so wrapped up in the prospect of baby and if something should happen and mom and dad change their minds that I will be so completely devastated. He doesn’t want that to happen. I explained to him that I have that exact same fear. I have explained to mom to be that if they are not completely serious than I can’t be involved. I have been to the doctors with her and we saw the sonogram. I have a garage full of baby things that she keeps asking when we’re going to bring it in the house. I’m not ready for that step just yet. I will wait until the baby gets closer to being here.

I am just glad that he finally opened up to me. I knew in my heart that’s what the problem was from the beginning. I just needed him to tell me and now we can deal with it.